


That's Not the Shape of My Heart

by CheersToEngland



Series: iPod Shuffle Challenge [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 4 times, Alternate Universe, M/M, a dash of abuse, a splash of freeloading, a sprinkle of sad, and a load of fluff, unlucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:44:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheersToEngland/pseuds/CheersToEngland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A four times fic where Liam is unlucky in love but at the end he finds his luck where he doesn't expect it.</p><p>Based off the song Shape of my Heart by Sting</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Not the Shape of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first attempt of the shuffle challenge. Basically everyday for a whole week I am going to put my iPod on shuffle and write a story for whatever song it lands on. Now as of today I have 2015 songs on my iPod. And most of them I've never listened to. So I'm kind of terrified to do this. So far though it hasn't let me down. To make it equally random I got this decision maker app on my iPod and put all of the bromances into it. It chose one for me completely at random so I was just lucky it was my otp. Anyways I hope you enjoy the first day of this and continue to enjoy it as the week progresses.

Liam Payne had never considered himself all that lucky. The game of life had done him wrong. He didn't have the worst life, he just had the worst luck. Especially in love. He was fairly certain that the deck was not stacked in his favor when it came to love. But who would think that when they had been in the worst relationships? There was not one person in Liam's life that was constant, that's all he wanted. Was it really too much to ask for?

*

Niall had been Liam's best friend for his entire life. They were the cliché story of the best friends falling in love. They were everything Liam thought he needed in life and he felt blessed to have found that so quickly and without difficulty. But of course nothing can be that easy.

Niall and Liam weren't always lovers. In fact they hardly were. Up until high school they were simply friends. Even in high school they weren't exactly dating per say. They never went on dates or anything. They just kissed and held hands occasionally. Nothing was ever made official. Though Liam wanted it to be.

After they were out of school Niall gave him possibly the worst news ever. He was going to war. While Liam would be in college studying business, Niall would be out risking his life. There were tears that day as well as the day he left. Liam promised Niall he would be there for him when he got back. Niall told Liam he loved him and for the first time Liam felt his place in the world. He felt that his puzzle had been completed. And even as he watched Niall's plane take off, his heart didn't dent. The thought of those three little words kept it intact.

Niall was enlisted for four years. He was given two weeks every year out of those four years to come home and see his family. Between the letters and the work for school, that was all Liam could think about. Two weeks. Only two weeks, such a short amount of time that he would have to make count.

The first year everything was normal. Niall hadn't seen the brutal side of war yet. He still had his innocence. Liam was happy, happy to see nothing had changed. A year hadn't dented their relationship in the slightest. Those two weeks were filled with more love than Liam had ever experienced. It only made it that much harder when they came to an end. More tears were shed and more 'I love yous' were exchanged. When they parted Liam didn't feel as okay as the last time. He spent the next year missing Niall and counting down the days to when he returned.

The second time Niall came to visit, he had started to change. He didn't talk about the war at all and he was fairly quiet which was strange for Niall. Liam was worried, but Niall wouldn't talk to him. So he just left Niall be. Niall tried to give Liam smiles, but they didn't quite reach his eyes. They were hollow, still smiles, but just a shell of the happy Niall that Liam had known before. The next goodbye was less tearful. Niall pressed a simple kiss to Liam's lips. It was supposed to be reassuring, but to Liam it didn't feel that way.

When Niall came home for the third time it was worse. Niall barely said a word. Liam felt like he was talking to himself. They couldn't hold a conversation. The only kind of smile he got from Niall was when he mentioned the fact that they only had one year left. Then everything would be normal. Everything would be right again. When they said goodbye it was okay, because they wouldn't have to do it again. From then on it would only be hello.

The year went by slowly, but it went. Liam received next to no letters from Niall, still he sent them nonetheless. He hoped he was brightening Niall's now dark world. When Niall's final return came Liam was jumpy and happy. He went to pick Niall up at the airport and immediately gave him a welcome kiss. Niall's lips didn't return his greeting. It felt like he was kissing a dead person. Niall never spoke to him, he didn't even spare him a glance. The only sound that escaped the once smiling lips were the screams at night. The screams that echoed the ones he couldn't let out in war. Liam comforted him through the nights, but he couldn't comfort him for life. 

They checked Niall into a sort of institution. It was for people that had been damaged by war. It was for them to learn how to live again, for them to feel like they once had. Liam hoped it would work, but he couldn't bear to stick around and see.

Niall didn't really leave Liam and Liam didn't really leave him. Niall left himself. Somewhere out on the battlefield lay all of his happiness, all of his memories from before the war. What returned was a scarred piece of him. Bloody and wounded with only memories of the bad. It didn't look promising that he would ever be the same again.

*

Zayn was different. Niall was a victim of the war, but Zayn was the war. Zayn was vicious. He was everything that Liam didn't want, but he didn't start that way.

Liam met Zayn right when he got out of college. He got a job in a small business. He was merely an assistant. Zayn was the receptionist. Liam hadn't wanted to dwell on the Niall incident and had been on a few dates. Zayn was different than those though. He seemed like he wanted a legitimate relationship with Liam and that was nice. That was different. 

He took Liam on a nice dinner for their first date. They exchanged stories about themselves and their lives. Zayn seemed genuinely interested. Liam even told him about Niall. Not about the bad, but about the good, about their friendship. When dinner was done Zayn walked him home. When he kissed him at the doorstep it was gentle and nice. Zayn was what he needed. Calm and caring. Liam didn't invite him in that night but on the night of their third date he did.

Zayn was the person he lost his virginity to, but Zayn didn't know that. It would have been kind of embarrassing, so Liam kept it to himself. It was still special. It was their first time and Zayn was everything he should have been.

They continued to date and it seemed as if Liam was given a second chance to find love. It felt like Zayn was it, the one. Liam was falling for him and the good thing was that Zayn was falling right back. Zayn treated him right. He was loving and sweet and everything Liam needed. Liam didn't realize it, but he had been left broken from Niall going to war just like Niall was. Not as intense, but he felt it. 

Zayn was there for him though. There to nurse him back to health. There to hold him when things got to be too much for Liam to handle. And for that Liam was grateful.

They said I love you at around a year. It amazed Liam that he could love again and that someone as flawless as Zayn could love him back, but he did. Liam didn't know how but he did.

Things seemed to be completely looking up. Liam was promoted to manager and he couldn't have felt more on top of the world. And he had his smiling boyfriend with him every step of the way. Liam hated to jinx things but they were perfect. Of course it's always calm before the storm.

The wind picked up when Zayn was put out of a job. He expected Liam to be able to save his position, but Liam didn't have that kind of power. Zayn was frustrated. He didn't take it out on Liam that night. Instead he took it out on alcohol. He drained his problems and went to sleep. He didn't cuddle Liam though. He wouldn't be doing that anymore.

The transformation was terrifying. Liam no longer felt safe or protected, but he still trusted Zayn. He figured it was just a phase and he wouldn't give up on the dark haired boy. He wouldn't give up on the love that he was lucky to find.

Zayn continued drinking and even took on certain drugs. Liam felt helpless as he watched. Zayn hardly spoke to him and it felt like a repeat of Niall except Liam knew Zayn was still there. He only surfaced for small amounts of time, but he was there and Liam wasn't ready to leave him.

Surprisingly Zayn took it upon himself to get better. When Liam got home from work one night he saw Zayn sitting on the couch, completely sober. He apologized to Liam and told him he was going to try to find a job and start anew. Liam smothered him in a hug and that night they cuddled after they made love. Liam fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

But there is an eye to every hurricane.

To be fair, Zayn did try. But when it didn't work out right away, he was quick to give up. He was back to his old ways like he had never even been clean. Liam was disgusted. So disgusted he decided to hold an intervention. Stupidly, he did it after Zayn had come home in the wee hours of the morning, reeking of weed and alcohol. 

He told Zayn that he needed to stop. That he couldn't pay the bills on his own, Zayn needed to do his part too. For a minute it looked like Zayn understood, only for a minute. What happened next was a surprise to both of them. Zayn slapped Liam right across the face. He realized what he had done right after and tried to pull Liam into a hug, but Liam didn't want to hear his apologies. He wanted to leave. Once Zayn realized this though, he wouldn't let him go.

A month of being taken advantage of and Liam had finally had enough. All of his hope had been used up. The next time Zayn went out partying Liam left. It was his apartment but it didn't matter. He could find somewhere else. Maybe Zayn having to pay his own rent would be an eye opener. But Liam wouldn't be staying to see his eyes open. Liam was glad that Zayn was fired, because he didn't want to lose the new position he had worked so hard to acquire. Liam's departure was rather simple and Zayn didn't even come after him.

In this case, Liam was the one who left, but he might have left the world for good if he had stayed with Zayn. He had to leave, but that didn't make it any easier.

*

Harry was a different story altogether. Liam knew he was trouble from the start. People warned him, but he didn't listen. He believed that everyone deserved a fair chance. Even what happened with Zayn didn't stop him. Liam thought the world held good and evil. Just because Zayn was evil didn't mean that no one was good. He wouldn't just give up on love. That would be wrong, so he planned to try again. And try he did.

After Zayn life gave him a kind of break. He had no trouble finding a new apartment and settling back into life. He was free and it felt great. He got another promotion. This time to boss. He was now running the company. Or at least a small portion of it. But he was bringing in more money than he knew what to do with, so he decided to donate. He wanted people without homes to be able to have that opportunity. The only part of his paycheck he got was for rent and groceries. The rest was sent to the homeless. He didn't really need the money anyways, he didn't want it to go to his head.

Part of his new position was attending plenty of parties. They weren't a bad thing exactly, they just weren't his style. There was where he met Harry. Harry was kind of enticing, alluring. People seemed to draw near him, and he wasn't even one of the guests. No, he was a waiter for the catering company at the event. He had been eying Liam the entire evening and Liam felt uneasy.

Several people had warned him. They told him to stay away, they told him Harry was trouble, but Liam didn't listen. He wanted to find out himself. He guessed that these socialites were just jealous that the supposed 'help' was getting more attention than them. So when Harry introduced himself Liam didn't push him away. Instead he drew the curly haired boy closer. Maybe a little too close.

Harry went home with him that night and it was the first night of many.

About a month into it Harry had practically moved into Liam's apartment. It was a little fast for Liam, but that was just Harry's style he figured. It wasn't like there wasn't room for him and Liam didn't exactly mind his company so he stayed. And stayed. And stayed a little more.

It wouldn't have been a problem until Harry started asking Liam to get things for him. It started simple, more expensive items on his grocery list and a few new pieces of clothing. Then it turned to more, a fancy new watch or a new car. With charity, Liam really didn't have the money for that, but he didn't have the heart to tell Harry that, so he would typically just ignore Harry's pleas.

It continued on like this for a while and Liam started to get used to it. Only it got worse. Harry wanted his credit card number. He told Liam it was for one little thing online. He couldn't get it because his credit card was canceled. Liam agreed, just for this one item, but Harry had other ideas.

He started spending more than Liam had. It got so bad that Liam had to change his card number and to make it worse, Harry asked him why it wasn't working. Liam had to calmly tell him to slow down, he wasn't made of money after all, but Harry didn't seem to buy that. He yelled at Liam for being selfish and uncaring. That night he didn't freeload at Liam's apartment. He actually went to his own. Wherever the hell that was.

He came back the next day though, apologizing and begging for Liam's forgiveness. He claimed that he was just going through financial issues, but that didn't make it right for him to take advantage of Liam. Liam forgave him and that was that. Things returned to normal, or as normal as they could have been given the circumstances.

But of course it couldn't just end there. Liam had been searching for his card for days. He couldn't seem to find it anywhere. At first he thought he had misplaced it but soon he got suspicious. When he brought it up to Harry he accused him of not trusting him. Liam told him he didn't mean that, he just wanted to find his card. Harry rolled his eyes. He made sure to spend a little more that night.

Finally Liam had to turn off his card. Unfortunately, he was already in debt. He had to cut some of the charity funds to help repay the debt. It felt so wrong, it was like he was just taking away the only good he could actually do for the world. He was at a dead end, so he had to turn around.

He told Harry how much he was making. He told him that if he couldn't accept that then they couldn't be together. Harry nodded like he understood, Liam didn't know if he really did though.

Apparently the message did get through. The next party he attended he came to with Harry, but he left alone. Harry had moved on. Liam didn't have the money he was looking for so it seemed pointless. He kissed the CEO of whatever company right in front of Liam. It hurt, but all Liam could do was watch.

When his duties were fulfilled he quickly went home. He changed his card number once more for good measure and he changed his locks. Harry would not be welcome back. The next time he got paid it was even less than before. More money went to the charity and Liam could feel good again.

*

Liam was in a rut. He had given up, there was no way he was meant to succeed in love, he would have by now. But fate has a funny way of putting the light in your tunnel just when you think it's officially hopeless. At least that's what Liam learned.

It had been a year since Liam had started to donate to the homeless and he was finally going to meet some of the people he helped. He was told they wanted to thank him, he never expected to meet someone like Louis there though.

He went to the shelter he helped fund. The first family he met was a mother with three children. She thanked him graciously along with her children. She informed him that he had saved their life. After her husband left she was left alone with the kids. She couldn't afford to keep their house, but with the money Liam had donated, they could stay in school like normal children. That made him smile. He had really made a difference

He met several more people with equally heartwarming stories. The last person he met that day was a man around his age. The man looked broken and Liam felt a strange urge to protect him. When the man saw him though, he beamed. He introduced himself as Louis. Over the next hour Liam had learned every detail of his life. He used to live with a nice family, but everything changed when he came out as gay. His family kicked him out without a second thought. He was bullied in school so he dropped out. Unfortunately he couldn't find a job so he ended up on the streets. Things were really tough for a while so he had to start selling his body. The money Liam donated put a stop to that. It gave him a chance to start over and for that he was grateful.

Liam felt a connection to him. Like they were meant to meet like this. Two unlucky people destined to find luck. Liam decided to take the leap. He told Louis that he enjoyed speaking with him and that he hoped they could talk again. Maybe over a cup of coffee. Louis agreed. They set up a date for the following week. Liam felt as if his luck was turning, but he still was protective of his feelings. As he expected, Louis was too.

Louis had really cleaned up for their date. He looked as if he really wanted to impress Liam and maybe Liam had wanted to do the same. They talked more about Liam's life this time, because Louis was curious about it. Liam shared his stories, even his past bad luck. Louis listened intently, cringed at all of the parts where Liam's heart was broken.

After Liam was done he shared his own heartbreaks. It was good that they got these out in the open. Surprisingly they had been eerily similar. They wouldn't break each other because they had already been broken.

Louis wouldn't turn into a shell of himself, because he had already seen the worst. Street life can be similar to a war if you get stuck in the bad parts.

He wouldn't hurt Liam in any way shape or form, because he knew what it was like to be abused. Prostitution leads to abuse no matter how you slice it and Louis had endured the worst.

And finally he wouldn't take advantage of Liam's money. From the grateful look on his face Liam knew he felt it was a blessing. But from the guilty look that replaced it when Liam paid for both their coffees, he knew Louis hated that he didn't have the money to pay for his own.

Liam in turn wouldn't hurt Louis, he wouldn't take advantage of him, he wouldn't kick him out, or deny him his love. He couldn't bear to see the boy without a smile on his face, so he wouldn't do anything that didn't put it there.

Somehow it worked, somehow they managed to love again. Though it wasn't all that difficult. All of the bad was worth getting to the good. They both agreed that if they had to go through all of the pain to reach each other again, they would do it without hesitation. 

While it wasn't perfect, they figured it out. Liam helped Louis get a job at his office and Louis moved in. They split the rent and the shopping costs. Liam continued to donate to the shelter and they visited as often as they could.

Liam knew this time when he spoke the three fatal words that it would be the last person he told them to. Except maybe their children far down the line, but Liam knew Louis was the one and Louis felt the same. 

It shouldn't have been a surprise when it was said, but to Louis it was. He had been waiting to say it for a long time but Liam beat him to it when he finally, after a year of dating, he just came out of the blue and said, “I love you.” And it was real. And even better, it was returned.

**Author's Note:**

> And done. How was it? I quite liked it actually. It's a different style than my usual and I was proud for coming up with the concept from that amazing song. If you could comment and tell me what you thought about it that would be simply amazing. I'll be back tomorrow with another. If you want to leave me a request for a one shot though it is always welcome. And if you wanted to check out any of my other stuff I wouldn't hate it. 
> 
> Talk to you soon,  
> -Baileyo


End file.
